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Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. The 49ers, coming off a bye, have had an extra week to examine Week Five's 45-10 loss to the Falcons. Head coach Mike Singletary sternly reminded his team of the importance of not looking ahead and focusing on the task at hand before savoring the benefits. "It was our bye week," says Singletary, "but you could also call it a 'Bly' week. Dre has been the 'butt' of more jokes than Beyonce. "I think Dre knows by now that he's best off not trying to imitate Deion Sanders on the field. Dre'd be better served imitating Deion off the field, of which the best way is to put on his Sunday's finest and conduct some questionable business with some shady NFL agents. Then have non-football fans guess whether you're a preacher or a pimp. "As you know, Micha ...

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Article written by Jeffrey Boswell