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They don’t win championships in Philadelphia. If they do, it’s a fluke—something that someone pulled over on God. Every three decades or so, one of the teams will screw up the ecosystem and snatch a title out from under fate’s nose. What’s happening now is a travesty. The Phillies are in the World Series for the second year in a row. What’s worse, they actually won it last year. This is all wrong. Philadelphia is a city full of miscreants and crabapples, with a fan base so jaded and tormented that it makes John McEnroe look like Dale Carnegie. Philadelphia—City of Chumps, not Champs. The biggest winner in Philly is Rocky, and he’s not even real. The football Eagles annually tease and flirt with their fans, batting their eyelashes and giving ...

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Article written by Greg Eno