AGRI Biz

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Excitement is building for Monday nightÆs game in the mile high environs of Invesco Field, so much so that Monday Night Football analyst John Gruden has already started excitedly over-exaggerating various aspects of the matchup. ôHey, they donÆt call it æMile Hy-perbole StadiumÆ for nothing,ö says a giddy Gruden. ôTroy PolamaluÆs hair is so luxurious, itÆs been proven impenetrable by the Cleveland Browns offense. ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. The Jets are 4-3 after blasting the Raiders 38-0 in Oakland while forcing the benching of JaMarcus Russell. After Mark Sanchez threw five interceptions in the Jets' loss to the Bills, New York kept the offense simple, calling a whopping 54 rushes while passing only 15 times. "I think that's a gentle way of the offensive coordinator saying, 'We don't have faith in you,'" says ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Brett FavreÆs long-awaited homecoming in Green Bay is upon us, and it couldnÆt have been scripted any better. The Minnesota Vikings are 6-1 with the Green Bay Packers close behind at 4-2. A Packer win would forge a practical tie atop the division. The Packers have won two straight by a combined 57-3 score, while Minnesota lost for the first time last week, falling to ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. A week after playing in the spotlight of NBC's Sunday night game, Matt Ryan and the hot Falcons face something even more daunting— playing under the massive video board above the playing field in Dallas Stadium. While the Cowboys themselves don't necessarily intimidate, the video screen casts a long shadow, much like the five Lombardi Trophies do on the legacy of Tony Romo. "There ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. The 49ers, coming off a bye, have had an extra week to examine Week Five's 45-10 loss to the Falcons. Head coach Mike Singletary sternly reminded his team of the importance of not looking ahead and focusing on the task at hand before savoring the benefits. "It was our bye week," says Singletary, "but you could also call it a 'Bly' week. Dre has ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Two weeks ago, Chargers general manager A.J. Smith called his team "soft," a statement that served as both a challenge and an accusation. In Monday night's 34-23 loss to AFC West rival Denver, San Diego did nothing to prove Smith wrong. The Broncos are still undefeated and the Chargers, at 2-3, face a steep, uphill climb to get back into the division race. "Hey, somebody ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Who do you think is most excited about the Saints impressive 5-0 start? Why, those persnickety curmudgeons representing the 1972 Dolphins 17-0 team, whose feeble hearts always seem to race when a team blasts out of the gate in undefeated style. Once again, the Dolphins have a chance to pin a loss on an undefeated team, thereby giving those '72 Dolphins not only ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes, one for each of Mike and CarolÆs six children, as the Patriots pounded the Titans 59-0 to improve to 4-2 and take over first place in the AFC East. Brady threw five of his TDÆs in the second quarter, breaking the NFL record for touchdown passes in a quarter. ôCall it a Brady æbunch,Æö says Brady. ôI understand the ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. Just when it appeared the Jaguars had turned their season around with two consecutive wins, they were humiliated 41-0 in Seattle, registering only 199 total yards. "I hate to use the Lord's name in vain," says Jack Del Rio. "But we were God-awful in Seattle. I don't think I've ever uttered the phrase 'What the hell?!' so many times. But I'll be damned if ...

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. In a battle of NFC South cellar-dwellers, the Panthers travel to Tampa to face the winless Buccaneers. Carolina recorded their first win of the season last week, beating Washington 20-17 in a game marked both by a gutsy, 10-yard run by Jake Delhomme to preserve the win, and by the return of Julius Peppers. After a slow start to the year, Peppers logged two ...