AGRI Biz

First things first. I'm taking nothing away from the New England Patriots, who went out and tamed the Baltimore Ravens in a humbling manner. Humbling. The Pats have gone out and humbled two good sophomore quarterbacks in consecutive weeks. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco playedádecent games. But they were humbled. Even the New York Jets victory over the Patriots seemed a bit off. The whole game looked like New York was waiting for New ...

I don't think I've ever been more scared to watch football than I amáto watcháthis Sunday. And it's not because my TV is situated on an Indian burial ground. Because that's just not the correct term (it's Native American, no?). It's because I'm afraid the Miami Dolphins are irrevocably terrible. And the evidence is quickly mounting. The offense is in disarray (except you, Ronnie Brown, you are very much in array) andáthe defense ...

I'll beáblunt: the most excited I got all Sunday was when Chad Pennington's nose exploded. Not because of my insatiable bloodlust, because you know, it's insatiable. But because I saw evidenceáthat blood actually ran through the Dolphins instead ofámotor oil. Penningtonáplayedáan entire drive looking like he'd just squared off against George Foreman. It had me on my feet yelling an acapellaáversion of theáRocky theme song. The whole scene wasáawe-inspiring,áand I was captivated up ...

I've run such a gamut of emotion since Monday night that my schizophrenia developed schizophrenia. And we're actually quite happy now. Being an optimist is hard, especially when pessimism is easier than me after a few beers. That being said, I'm quite comfortable with the Miami Dolphins' current predicament. And it's a predicament, 0-2 is a predicament. But at the risk of overusing predicament, this is one predicament I can handle. Miami's offense ...

Lost in the trauma that was Week 1, was something very reassuring. The Miami Dolphins have a whale of a run defense. (That will be the first of many nautical puns in my Dolphin writing career.) Long ago, before Dan Marino ever fixed a rocket to his arm, the founders of football decided that in winning football games, defense and the run game were tantamount. At least Miami had one of two, placing them ...

The football bourgeoisie have already deigned the Miami Dolphins will finish with an average record and end up out of playoff contention. And as it is written, so shall it be, right? A phrase comes to mind: That's why they play the game. It's easy to write off a team because a certain quarterback for a certain organization has returned. The fact remains that the Miami Dolphins are the AFC East Champs until proven otherwise. Just ...