Author Archive
á
DonÆt practice.á Bend your knees violently and sporadically.á Be off-balance. Un-tuck your elbows.á DonÆt warm up.
Wear a headband.á Wear a sleeveless shirt, preferably with a number on the back.á Shout phrases that you imagine good shooters would shout.
Freeball.
Shoot at every occasion in games.á Jump as high as possible, regardless of the situation. Take irregular angles to the basket.á Tangle your feet.á Fall awkwardly.
Hydrate sparingly.á Ingest large quantities of salt.á DonÆt ...
Second-guess yourself.á Start your first round pick even though heÆs listed as doubtful with an ankle injury.
Take down the championship banner hanging from your front porch.á Cancel the parade.á Call the newspaper and ask to remove the obituary for your opponentÆs team from tomorrowÆs edition.
Get terrible match-ups.á Have too many of your players be on teams that have already clinched playoff spots, and therefore only play in the first ...
I donÆt like your Fu Manchu, it makes you look like a tool
I donÆt like that you donÆt wear glasses. John Clayton wore glasses. You think youÆre better than John Clayton?
I donÆt like how youÆve worked your way up the NFL studio analyst ladder at ESPN like an undersized lineman working his way up the depth chart
I donÆt like the way your broad shoulders make your head look tiny. I ...