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Note: The quotes in this article are fictional. LaDainian Tomlinson is in a walking boot, Philip Rivers was fined for taunting, and San Diego has serious shortcomings on defense. Oh how the Chargers long for the time when the unsubstantiated claims of a ditzy, C-list, mildly retarded reality star were their only worries. "Well, it seems as though we've rid ourselves of one 'wildcat,'" says Norv Turner, "just in time for another. That being the 'wildcat' offense made fashionable, and productive, by the Dolphins. The 'wildcat' is a lot like Philip Riversùa 'useful tool.'" Miami learned a hard lesson last Monday against the Colts: that a three-to-one advantage on time of possession doesn't always translate to victory. They also learned that blatant mismanagement of the clock often resu ...

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Article written by Jeffrey Boswell